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2004-06-07

Campaign for EU-elections winding up 

..and here, after yesterday's TV confrontation of the top candidates from the four 'parties already represented in the current EU-parliament' (phrase by which national broadcaster ORF excluded the HPM-list that runs third or fourth in the polls), is the case for voting for each of them (and here's my election prediction from 28 April):

Vote SPÖ! Social-democracy for the whole world! Think about unemployment - it's because the EU is for the multinationals, not for the people. We put the people first, not the economy. The EU budget should be frozen at 1% of national GDPs, but it is the responsibility of the EU to resolve the problem of unemployment and unfair competition from people who work for less money than you do. And did we mention unemployment?

Vote ÖVP! Freedom, Peace, Prosperity! This is what the EU is about, and we represent the European mainstream! We are proud of our nationalist focus regardless. We are the best Austrians in the EU. All the other parties are leftist (yes, that includes the far-right FPÖ), because they all oppose the EU's economic liberalism! We are the government, but this election is not about our performance. Our performance is good.

Vote FPÖ! You can choose us for our top-candidate if you are a romantic environmentalist and animal-rights activist, or you can choose us for our other top-candidate if you are a germanophile nationalist of the extreme right. Or you can choose us because we, like you, are against almost everything, and almost everybody is against us.

Vote Greens! I am Johannes Voggenhuber, and I have drafted the EU constitution. That is why the Greens are the only real Europeans on this ballot. All these national politicians haven't grasped yet that they are obsolete. Or are you for neoliberalism, like the finance minister who has vampire teeth and sucks your tax-blood?

Vote HPM! Yes, that stands for Hans-Peter Martin MEP! I have my own party now! My sole objective is to be against those greedy, overambitious MEPs! The EU parliament is ridden by Stalinism and totalitarianism - give me your vote for a fair democratic culture beyond the exaggerations.

Vote Linke! No, we are not the Communist Party. No, the Communist Party does not cover more than most of our campaign budget. Utopia never wins anything at the national elections? Vote for it in Brussels, vote for the only party that makes a real difference!

Hm, I notice that I have been more seriously thoughtful about this in the past. Maybe I'll save my declaration of endorsement for another post then, when the bile has settled down a bit..


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